• Hollywoodland

Moz Auction

Today is the inagural Katrina Benefit Auction at Amoeba, which is where we pull some odd but cool music memorabilia from the sepentine depths of the warehouse and…well, auction them off. The plan is to do this every Saturday until New Orleans looks exactly the way it did before last weekend. And Amoeba’s matching dollar for dollar every penny raised in the auction. Kinda cool, no?

Well, yeah. Today, one of the items up for auction is a Morrissey flag. It turns out to be a hotly contested item. A bidding war erupts between two of Amoeba’s own, Job and Szabo duke it out, upping each other pretty quickly. And then a small blonde woman jumps into the fray and the before anyone knows what’s happening, she’s won it for a nice $300.

Later we learn that the small blonde woman is Kelly Clarkson, who is, of course, the winner of the inaugural season of American Idol. This surprises me. Who knew that the ingenue star of From Justin To Kelly is a Moz fan? Somewhere in me a little spark of respect kicks up. Wow, does she consider him an influence? Does she listen to the Smiths? Which Morrissey song does she like better, “Every Day Is Like Sunday” or “November Spawned A Monster?” Hey, cool. Kelley Clarkson splashes out $300 for a Morrissey flag. I don’t even know what a Morrissey flag is.

Then it turns out that she isn’t a Morrissey fan at all. She doesn’t even know who Morrissey is. She just wants to donate some money to the cause. Happily for Job and Szabo, she doesn’t take the flag. She gives it back.

And I put the copy of Breakaway I’ve got in my hands back into the bin and slink ustairs.

  • keefe
  • Music

Music Reviews by Michael Keefe

Savvy scribe, slinger of sentences and black belt music wrangler, Michael Keefe has once again checked in with a collection of music reviews. Check it out by clicking the link on the right, or simply massage this link with your mouse.

  • Music

Late Late Late

I’m posting Michael’s reviews a little later than usual, but that’s entirely my fault. In fact, I’ve been quite absent this week. Part of it’s due to the wedding. Not mine. I didn’t get married. Long time friend, Stephen Stukovsky got married in Lake Tahoe, which sucks because that means driving to a place where the air is cooler and cleaner and drier, and where every day is spent lounging about and having fun, and where sometimes you have no choice but find a street-side cantina and sip a top shelf margarita in full view of the lake. Man, what a drag.

And then Monday I land back in LA with the weight of a Midweek Comedown on my shoulders. The impact drives me a hundred feet underground, where I’m buried so deep I can’t see a thing in front of me. Luckily, I have my spelunking helmet, though I think about leaving it switched off. I’m not sure I can face the surface world. Better to stay curled up here, in the dark, quiet and alone. But I switch it on and begin to climb. It’s only this morning that I emerge, blinking, into the light of day.

More on all this later, I suppose. Although I will say that a good deal of recovery is due in no small part to at last finding a copy of the Petra Haden/Bill Frisell collaboration cd. Man, that’s a life-saver.

Again, more on all this later. I’m going to crawl into bed and read some Chuck Palahniuk. That should lift me right out of the doldrums.

    Pterodactyls

    Hmm…

    I’m checking my calendar. What’s today? Oh, of course. It’s Wednesday, the last day of August. What am I scheduled to blog about? I check my itinerary and…yes, of course. I want to blog about certain films by Stephen Sommers, and how, when you hear your neighbors watching them in the afternoon, it sounds as if they’re watching a film about pterodactyls. And then I plan to go off on an amusing tangent about how wouldn’t it be funny if, in an alternate version of today’s planet, we were all evolved from pterodactyls yet everything else were the same? What would it be like to watch Brigadoon?

    But man, check out what’s happening in Louisiana:

    It makes you want to go there and help out. But then maybe money’s better. What should we do? Money? It sounds so…cheap. We really should go help out. I mean, should we go to Louisiana and throw ourselves into the fray? Or should we scrape together a few coins and drop them in the big donation bottles now sitting on the counters at Amoeba?

    Then BoingBoing publishes this comment from reader Eric V. Olson, and the latter makes a lot more sense (grammatical idiosyncracies preserved):

    People want to help. That’s good. The problem is they often can’t, but they think they can. And, in the end, all they really do is get in the way.

    The single best thing Joe Geek can do is give cash. Not stuff, cash. Cash is portable, fast, and useful. Everything else has problems — even if it is something they really and truly need, because it isn’t there, and people and resources are needed to get it there.

    The canonical example: Bottled water. Something otherwise useless that is critical in this sort of emergency. So you give a few flats to the ARC. Well, you bought them at retail, and now, the ARC has to put them on a truck (which costs money) and ship them down there (which cost money, and time.)

    Let’s say you give them $20 instead. The ARC notes that they need water. So, they call a bottler in a city close to, but not affected by, the storm. They get wholesale or cost prices, as opposed to retail. For the same amount of money, they get far more water, far closer to where they need to be. In six hours, you’re delivering your flats to the local ARC office. In six hours with cash, they’re handing water to people who desperately need it.

    Finally, of course, if what they really need is food, your flats of water aren’t helpful, but your cash is. So, the lesson:

    1) Give cash. That’s the best thing you can do from your home.

    2) Stay the hell away from New Orleans. Seriously. They’re ordering everyone out, that includes you. Do not go.

    3) If you are trained to do rescue work, they have almost certainly called you by now. If not, check in with your local org — records and such get lost, and they may have missed you.

    4) If you really insist, go to your *local* American Red Cross office and talk to them. If, in fact, they do need a skill you have, they’ll put you with the people you need to know, and start the wheels moving. The single biggest thing the ARC does in disasters is routing solutions to problems.

    5) If you have supplies, not cash, you can talk to the local office, but realize that the cost of shipping your supplies may make them worse off then just buying them closer. If you have supplies *and* shipping — and we’re talking trucks, not FedEx, — then call the local ARC, and talk to them, and if they need what they have, they’ll put you in touch with the people who need it, who can arrange how to get it to them.

    In general, when they need something, they need lots of it, either in one place or put into one place so they can easily distribute at need. One satellite phone isn’t that helpful, esp. if they have to figure out how to make it work. A thousand phones, ready to go, however, is.

    6) If they really need what you have to offer, and you are one of the few who can provided it, they’ve probably called you by now.

    7) If you want to help in the future, start working with rescue orgs now. If you haven’t been trained in general rescue procedures, your not nearly as helpful. Think of it as backups — you can’t help New Orleans now, but there will be other bad days, and if you’ve done the classwork and drills, and kept in touch, then you will be one of the people they need — and they’ll call you when they need you. It may not be as elegant as network support — but right now, they don’t care about TCP/IP. They care about getting people out of the floodwaters, and plugging the holes in the levees.

    So I scrape some quarters into my pocket and head off to work. And I wonder as I walk, “Wouldn’t things have been so much easier if we were, in fact, evolved from pterodactyls? Then those people on top of the Chevy Suburban could’ve just flown away from the danger. And made a hell of a racket doing so, I bet.”

    • Hollywoodland

    Stranger



    I sit in front of Groundwork and sip the coffee that Anya served up for me in honor of tomorrow’s birthday. I prop the camera on top of the coffee cup and snap a series of photos of the workplace. After taking two or three decent ones, a guy walks past. Sees me hit the timer on the camera, then stops and stares into the coffee house. He waits. He waits. Ten seconds elapse. Click.

    He moves on.

    Very cool.

      Meow, Mr. President

      Did you know that not once in the history of the United States has there been a cat for President? It’s true. I do a little prowling on the Internets to confirm this. Never one of our serving presidents has ever been a cat. Not even Warren Harding.

      I don’t know that it’s such a bad thing. It’s hard to imagine a cat would have the wherewithall to juggle complex matters of state. And we might see a flurry of anti-dog legislation (you know, dog parks abolished, mandatory dog-diapering, a proliferation of kennels at Guantanamo Bay.)

      But if a cat were in the White House we could probably do without a Presidential chef. We’d save a bundle that. In fact, depending on the rodent population of the building, we might not even have to spring for Science Diet.

      And when generals walk in the Oval Office with their tassels and shiny medals you’d hear things like, “Wow, Mr. President, you went straight up his leg! Very nice, Sir. Now let go of that Bronze Star.” Could be awkward.

      And at dinner with Chinese dignitaries it would not do to have the President cough up a hairball. It’s just not proper protocol.

      And there could be some uncomfortable minutes when, in the middle of tense negotiations with warring Mideast countries, the President climbs into a litterbox and scratches about for half an hour.

      Yet there seems to be no shortage of cats who’ve run for higher office:

      Metrocat

      Morris

      Gramalkyn Katchamouskie

      Here’s a link to an NPR item about Mr. Katchamouskie.

        Death and Distraction

        Sunset in San Luis Obispo

        I want to post on a subject that the latest issue of Utne Reader explores a bit this month, which is the question of how we, as human beings, live our lives day to day with the full realization that we will one day die.

        I want to write about how I’m both terrifed and intensely curious about that final exit, about how that contradiction permeates everything I write.

        I want to write about how adept we are at sidestepping the reality of death, how we are so good at denying it, about how we’re so good at keeping ourselves distracted.

        .

        .

        .

        .

        .

        But wait, check this out: the world’s biggest Funyun!

        Funyuns!
        eep!

        We find it in a bag of Funyuns, so we’re pretty sure it was meant to be a Funyun itself, but somehow evaded the big slicing blade that cuts the dough into onion-like shapes. To some, seeing this is like getting a glimpse into the slaughterhouse. “So this is where our food comes from!” To some, it’s a sobering reminder of the truth behind those packaged foods we take for granted. It’s corporate, it’s phony, it’s…well, kinda disgusting.

        To me, it looks like a big ol’ sand worm:

        Funyuns Attack!

        • Hollywoodland

        Steel Mosquitos

        We are haunted by helicopters. I’m beginning to think that they inhabit my dreams. Last night I’m drifting off to sleep at 1:30 when a particularly low-flying bird swoops in to the Martel and Sunset and scrapes the earth with its searchlight. This goes on for about twenty minutes.

        Today, trying to get some writing done, I’m fighting a losing battle with a naptime urge (brought on by last night’s sleeplessness.) I throw in the towel and close my eyes. The helicopter returns.

        But this time, it sounds as if it’s trying to land on my roof. I venture out to shoot rubber bands as it and realize it’s not one, but FIVE helicopters parked in the air above Hollywood. They look like news helicopters. But Channel 9 is still showing Judge Mathis, so maybe they really ARE in my head.

        • Hollywoodland

        hollywoodland.la

        I’m a known procrastinator. So when one of my web hosting companies contacts me to tell me the hollywoodland.la domain is about to expire, I figure I’ll wait until the last minute to renew. However, I don’t count on their deactivating the forwarding function before its expiration. Those of you who visit me via that domain are being sent to the idotz.com info page. Sorry about that. The problem should be corrected soon.

        • Hollywoodland
        • space invaders

        Invader Still At Large

        More invaders are down. The one at Melrose and the 101 is gone. The one next to the Bouorgeois Pig is gone (another one of my favorites.) But we found a brand new one. This guy is close to home. And the best thing is it’s protected by security cameras.

        • Hollywoodland

        Amoeba Tip #64

        This is something we at Amoeba never understand. And it happens all the time. This is a line of cars trying to get into the underground parking lot. That van will be sitting there, engine idling, for about fifteen to twenty minutes. One car out, one car in. That’s how it works. But just so everyone knows, the Arclight Theater parking is directly next door on the other side of the block (it’s visible in the background of this shot.) There are hundreds and hundreds of open spaces there. Acres of vacant concrete. And guess what? Amoeba validates. Go there. Gas costs way too much per gallon to waste it in traffic. Seriously.

        What makes this image extra ridiculous is that I’m taking it on Sunday. Forget the Arclight. There’s free parking EVERYWHERE. What are you dumbasses hoping to do, save a little time?

        Oh, and while we’re at it, PLEASE don’t try to make a left across Cahuenga coming the other direction. Not only is it illegal, it pisses off the people waiting on the correct side. The garage monitor won’t let you in and you’ll look like an ass making that six-point turn you’ll need to pull off to extricate yourself from the embarrassment.

        I think this behavior comes from the same place in human nature that has people taking the elevator down two floors to go to the gym.

        That’s right. Elevator. Gym.

        I’ll let you ponder that one yourself. I’ll only get annoyed.

        • Hollywoodland

        Amoeba Clips

        Sara: “Get your damn Merrill Osmond out of my imports section.”

        Eric: “It’s funny that they were looking for a spelling bee soundtrack and they didn’t think of spelling it out.” (after a customer asks why they can’t find the soundtrack for 25th Annual Putman County Spelling Bee at the beginning of the alphabet.)

        Dave: “I’m so bored.”

        And then at Groundwork after we close, I drop by to see Anya before walking home. It’s 11:11, the magic hour. No one else is in the shop. A guy walks in. Anya says, “Um, we’re closed.” The guy freezes, then retreats, pausing by the door. “But it says open till midnight.” Anya says, “We’re closed.” And he leaves.

        I look at her. She looks at me and says simply, “I hate, hate, hate that guy.”

        • Hollywoodland

        San Miguel East 7th Floor

        Can you see your favorite blogger? Yes, indeed, I’m the one with the wristwatch. San Miguel dorm, 1989-90, 7th Floor. UCSB.

        • Hollywoodland
        • space invaders

        More Invader Stuff

        Special thanks to Caryn over at art.blogging.la, who posted about the Invader-theft yesterday, as well as the cool cats over at visualresistance.org (my new favorite blog) who totally “get” how depressing it is when someone rips off cool street art. Blogging.la posted a mini-blurb of the situation here, reacting to that Klaxon-call over at flickr. Sean Bonner suggests in an email that, “Unfortunately it seems whoever it taking them down isn’t just using the books, but any they can find as many brand new ones as well as privately owned ones have been removed.”

        Thanks for spreading the word, guys.

        Incidentally, I’m not associated with sixspace gallery despite the similarity of our domains. Eventually, this will all shift over to hollywoodland.la proper.

        Also, the invader pictured above is the one from the curb in front of King’s Road Cafe. It’s pretty beat up on its own. Perhaps that won’t appeal to the black-clad invader ninjas and we’ll get to keep it for a little while.

        • space invaders

        Invaders Down

        One of the coolest street art projects in Los Angeles is under serious attack.

        Anyone who knows me knows of my obsession with the art of the enigmatic French artist known as Invader. More than a year ago, my friend Sara and I picked up on his work and began an obsessive hunt for as many of the mosaic monsters as we could. I even started a website. I haven’t updated in a while, but I had been preparing to re-vamp the whole thing and make it more interactive. The artist has been active lately. He recently showed new work at sixspace. He designed a skate deck for Mekanism skateboards.

        And he published a book.

        If you’re not familiar with the work of this guy, his idea is very simple. He creates simple tiled mosaics that draw from the world of old-school pixelated video games and slaps them onto public buildings. They’re not legal. And only in certain places are they actually sanctioned, but like Shepard Fairey, Spazmat, Buffmonster and others of his kind, his art is meant to be appreciated obliquely. It’s meant to cause the casual passerby to look up and say, “Whoa. Check it out. A space invader. What the fuck’s that doing there?” It was a cool thing. It got us out of our house, clutching our battered (inaccurate) red and white map, exploring parts of the city we’d never been, looking for that elusive little bit of video game kitsch, with games as CSGO, using services of boosting CS:GO online. And boy did we dance around when we found it. And when we found it we owned it. It was ours to point at as we drove by with friends and say, “Look! Space Invader!” So what if most of the time our passion was regarded with suspicion and befuddlement. We were having a grand time. And it gave us something to do one afternoon a week.

        “Let’s go hunting invaders.”

        Well, someone is doing just that. The invaders are disappearing. And in a brutally efficient way. I once worried about letting people know exactly where the Space Invaders were located. In fact, I posted about it way the hell back in October, when I saw one of my favorites fall to a predator. (I knew the guy who took it and the artist’s cousin was able to pay the guy a visit and reclaim it.) But I’d decided then that when it came to photographing them I was no longer going to be so specific.

        Then the book came out. It’s got detailed maps and very explicit pictures. Paging through it, I thought, “Hell, if HE thinks it’s alright, then it must be.” But then, he probably underestimated the greed of the opportunistic Angeleno.

        I first noticed the epidemic when I went to photograph Invader #80, the one that looked like an Oscar, situated by the Pantages Theater. This is how it looks now:

        I then went to check on another one that Sara had spotted on Yucca. This is how Invader #52 looks now:

        Deeply suspicious, we’ve decided to check out others we knew to exist. What we found has devastated us. They’re all gone. The one over Canter’s is gone. The one across the street from Canter’s is gone. The one on El Guapo is gone. The one on Melrose that read “Obey” is gone. The one on Laurel Canyon is gone. The one on Fairfax opposite Park La Brea is gone. The one on the Erotica Museum is gone. And the big one–the one that started it all for us–Invader #60, the one in front of Rocket Video, where we spent more than a year of our lives, the one that greeted us every day we went to work. That one’s gone. Just talked to Joe today about that one. He said it’s been gone for a month. This is what it looks like now:

        Bloody. Fucking. Hell.

        There’s nothing I can say that’s gonna bring these things back. There’s nothing I can do to prevent more from going away. My rage, I realize, is of the worfully impotent variety. I suppose the only thing I can do is appreciate how lucky we were to have found them while they were still around. We’d like to keep hunting, but really, what’s the point? I’m afraid to drive by Nick Metropolis, or The Bourgeois Pig, Or Y-Que on Vermont. I’m afraid to check the parking garage at LACMA, or the tunnel in Griffith Park, the Sunset overpass on the 101, Chinatown, Sunset Hills, Westwood Blvd, the PCH, LAX, Randy’s fucking Donuts. There are so many.

        Anybody else out there know what the hell I’m talking about? Anyone know who might be pulling this off? I’m not the only one who’s noticed. The mosaics aren’t listed on eBay, but perhaps there’s another way these are being sold? Anyone know?


        Well, I suppose we always have Perth.