I caught the season finale of Bones tonight. It’s weird having a new “show,” you know? I haven’t had a show since Buffy and Angel went off the air. So I suppose it’s fitting it’s another Boreanaz vehicle, but yeah, I thought I’d check it out. My friend, Ryan, thinks my fandom is insane, but as I’ve already laid out, there’s some stuff to dig about Bones. I still reserve my usual complaints about realism and transparent storytelling, but overall, it’s amusing stuff. The season finale was oddly disappointing, however. And yet somehow, it managed to make me love it by throwing a curve ball that I would have never predicted in a million years…

…or at least a month or two of serious guessing, anyway. Give me a moment to ‘splain.

From an objective standpoint it was just fine. A big, plot-heavy episode was what we expected from a lot of shows whose mid-sections were neatly excised by last Fall’s WGA strike, but this story, which involved the return of the “Gormagon Killer” (the show’s intermittent Boogie Man) was loaded with emotional potential that never quite pays off. That’s the sort of thing I can occasionally live with in a show I like; I’m always furiously rewriting these shows in my head as I watch them, anyway. But while the episode loitered in the lobby of greatness, it never took the elevator to the top floor. It never, as a way of comparison, came close to matching the average Buffy episode.

But a shocker in the final act was what stunned me into TV-love. The surprise came in the final act. No, it’s not the big character reveal about which the BonesBlogs are buzzing. This one comes just afterwards. A big action-y, revelatory scene unfolds. The FBI runs pell-mell in pursuit of a solid lead (for once without Dr. Brennan tagging along.) Guns out, tension rising, flashlights whipping about. Music playing…. And what music did they secure to go with it? Avenged Sevenfold, perhaps? Velvet Revolver? Hot Chip? She & Him? Nope, nope, nope…

Music spoiler after the jump.

Michael Hedges. “Aerial Boundaries.”

Billy Gottlieb is credited as Music Supervisor. If he’s really responsible for this, I hope he’s got a lot more of whatever it is he’s smoking.

Michael Hedges – “Aerial Boundaries”

on the web: live-blogging the finale, EW blog post, Hedges on YouTube, RS article about Hedges’ death

I knew I’d been watching a lot lately, but this is kinda unreal. Bones sits in the number six slot of my last.fm chart this week. Also making a strong showing is Prince, but only because I’m trying digging through music for the upcoming wedding gig. Midnight Juggernauts are up there because I’m boning up (oh gawd–sorry) on their tunes before they land at Coachella. I don’t even remember listening to Dave Seaman, so I must have been hard at work on the latest client website.

Finally, James Holden’s Balance compilation turns out to be the perfect accompaniment to Los Angeles traffic. Seriously. It’s lithe and slippery electronica and it helps with the lane changes.

Oh, and then there’s Bones.

No one who knows me doubts my rabid fannishness over Buffy and Angel. But good things must come to an end and the casts of those two television giants scattered to the four winds in 2005. Charisma Carpenter lost her baby fat and did a year in Neptune. SMG skipped through a series of horror flicks. Alyson Hannigan has been everywhere.

David Boreanaz landed Bones.

A year ago, I reluctantly checked out “The Girl In Suite 2103,” an episode from the show’s second season. I was watching it because my friend, Bertila Damas, had a guest-starring role. I thought the show was awkward and weird. I had gotten so used to Boreanaz and his vampiric glower that it seemed weird to have him bouncing about in broad daylight. I dismissed it and went about my life. Now, a year later, I’m completely hooked.

Yeah, so instead of writing, I’ve been sipping Theraflu and watching Bones. The show is based on the books and career of Kathy Reichs, and it’s premise is that, blah, blah, blah. Let me just distill it down for you. Ten things about Bones:

1. Emily Deschanel. Caleb and Mary Jo’s kids have made good. As Reich’s brainy protagonist, Temperance Brennan, she’s got a marvelous, studied gaze, a jaw that could cut glass and a tiny mouth that somehow wraps around some of the most awkward lines imaginable. She brings a statuesque appeal to the show that takes some getting used to. I’m used to it. I don’t want it to stop.
2. David Boreanaz. Who knew he had such an irrepressible demeanor? Boreanaz spent eight years shrouded in Angel’s redemptive gloom. Here he wears a suit, dons sunglasses and clowns about with Deschanel. It’s a nice change.
3. The Bones. Man, those things are everywhere. It’s a new week and guess what? Another set of bones come clattering down onto the hood of the Bonesmobile. There are mummies in mazes, skeletons in storm drains, skulls tumbling off overpasses… You name it. And because the show is about bones, it’s pretty lucky. And it provides us with great lines like, “Booth, why am I here? There’s skin on this body.”
4. The Lab. The Jeffersonian Institute is an obvious body double for the Smithsonian, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and suggest that the rhyming of the names is where the similarity ends. The lab in which these cats do their bone work is a cross between the bridge on the Enterprise, the throne room on Naboo and the boxing arena at MGM Grand. It’s a glittering center ring of activity and…well, decaying bones.
5. The Science. “Hey, Angela. We have a fragment of a lower mandible the size of a gnat. Can you reconstruct a face from that?” Once scene later, Angela (the appealing Michaela Conlin) shows everyone a rotating holographic construction that’s not only a perfect replica of the victim but also specifies the clothes he was wearing, the food he just ate and the music he was listening to the day before his murder. This, in no way, contributes to the CSI Effect.
6. The Chemistry. And no, I’m not talking about the test tube variety, although there’s plenty of that. I’m talking about the relationships between the actors. Thought the Hodgins-Montenegro relationship feels a bit on the forced side, the show takes a page from The X-Files‘ book and pits Booth and Brennan against one another in a series of potential shark-jumpage moments that, thankfully, don’t quite materialize. It’s called sexual tension, and it only works if it doesn’t flower.
7. Hodgins Ex Machina. Dr. Jack Hodgins, as played by T.J. Thyne, is a dirt specialist. Only don’t call it dirt. When all is lost, he can scrape the particulate matter off a femur, disappear into his lab for three seconds and come back and say, “The powder is actually pollen, from the tree known as arborius bogusisimus, which can be found only in remote parts of Africa, the highlands of Malaysia and the southeast corner of 18th Street and Argyle Terrace NW.”
8. Billy Gibbons. Yes, that Billy Gibbons. When the crew is quarantined in the lab over Christmas, Angela Pearly-Gates Montenegro warns people that her dad, who is paying her a visit, is rather famous. I was expecting some stunt casting at that point, but Billy Gibbons? The iconic guitarist of ZZ Top? I really want to know how that idea came about. Because it’s perfect. He’s even wearing the same cap that he was wearing when he shopped the Amoeba mezzanine that one time that I never blogged about.
9. The Realism. I love how Temperance Brennan, bone maestro extraordinaire, always manages to find herself kicking down doors with Seely Booth, gun in hand, and getting herself into dangerous scrapes. It’s the language of television. It’s how TV Land works. In reality, CSI techs never solve crimes. Detectives do. But we’re gonna go along with it, because, hey, Emily with a gun.
10. The Bones. Oh, did I mention them already? Alright, well here we go again. They’re star of the show. I’d love to hang out with the prop guys at this place. Sometimes they’re wet and gloppy (the bones, not the prop guys.) Sometimes they’re dessicated and covered in dirt (sorry Hodgins.) Sometimes they’re made of silver. They’re always fun to look at. And if the show is to be believed, you can tell anything from a pile of bones. Worth mentioning twice.
11. Bonus Item: That short bit in the eleventh episode of Season Two, “Judas On A Pole,” when they drop a segment of The Kate Bush song, “Running Up That Hill,” as covered by Placebo. I tend to be critical of popular music in television, but sometimes it works. And it certainly does here. I haven’t been able to find a clip of the sequence, but here’s a nice video of the tune: (YouTube)

On the web: official site, quality fan site, youtube comp video

I got two hours of sleep last night. Insomnia visited my room like a big ol’ buzzard and pecked at me from the headboard. So today’s post is not only late, it’s bound to be a bit cantankerous. But it might have been anyway, really. I caught the pilot of Bionic Woman the other night via hulu.com and there were problems. I want to expound.

I’d been meaning to check out the show, but I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet. I was, of course, a childhood devotee of The Six Bit Man and his distaff counterpart, Jamie Summers, and this is the age of Women-Who-Kick-Ass, so I’m front and center for this kind of thing. But I was underwhelmed.

Now, I’m not gonna kick the show on the basis of the single pilot, though. It’s early yet and it would be brutally unfair to dismiss it on a solitary viewing. I haven’t met a character I like yet and the tone and characterization within that first hour were wildly uneven, but given time, it might just grow on me.

Instead, I’m going to pick on the way they use Sia Furler’s “Breathe Me.”

First of all, they shouldn’t have. Two years ago, Six Feet Under did it. As Sia herself described, it pretty much brought her back from the dead, which is a funny thing to say given the premise of the show. And they used it at the most pivotal, heart-wringing point in the entire series’ run — its final six minutes. Viewers were already primed and emotional. That coupled with the gorgeosity of the tune folded into an emotional haymaker than people talked about for months.

“Breathe Me” is a powerful, emotional song. But it’s not a crutch. You can’t use it to prop up a scene that otherwise seems forced and awkward. That’s what they try to do in Bionic Woman. After Jamie escapes from the military hospital where she finds herself after a horrific accident, she finds herself at home, confused and fearful about what she’s become. The plot, which had been screaming forward at a breakneck pace, skids to a halt. She considers suicide. Maybe. It’s hard to tell. She ends up on the roof (will she jump? won’t she?) She makes a decision. And all the while, Sia’s purring “Breathe Me” in the background.

I appreciate the moment. I recognize that she has to go through something like this. But we have to understand it through the character and the motivation. Not the music. Please don’t try to trick us into feeling something. Give us a reason to care and then blow us away with a thrilling and unexpected song choice. Give us synergy.

Just not Sia. That’s been done before.

[Note: The song is in the series trailer as well. I still think it's the wrong choice, but in this context it works much better. I actually like the contrast between the violence and the melody. ]

The site design continues unabated. I’ve got some nifty new duds for sixsquare.com, all spread out and ready to pull over the tousled head of this here code, but it’ll be a week before all the final edits and adjustments are done. I was hoping to get it done this week and premiere it today, but unfortunately, Cinematic Titanic happened.

My disc arrived in the mail a week ago. It took me until this weekend to find two hours to string together for a good curl up on the couch. To say I’ve been anticipating the return of Joel and the bots is an understatement. My love of Mystery Science Theater 3000 stretches back fourteen years to the 1993. Those were the days of living on Bath Street in Santa Barbara, when friends would pile into my loft apartment whenever they felt like it, grab a glass of cheap wine from one of the bottles on the counter and slump with me on the couch. More often than not, I’d be tuned in to MST3K. This, itself, eventually became reason enough for friends to drop by. If I were watching anything else they’d grumble and complain over the lip of their wine glass. They were good times. It was a good show. So understandably, expectations were high.

And happily, those expectations were met. I mean, it’s easy to shift and frown and fidget and say, “it just doesn’t feel the same!” and, well, that’s true. First of all, the setup is different. Instead of sitting in theater seats, our band of merry riffers is perched around the perimeter of the field like a gathering of buzzards, picking over the tragic roadkill on the screen. But I like the difference. It gives them more of an opportunity to interact with the film (although I begin to feel bad for Trace Beaulieu and Josh Weinstein, who have to stand through the whole affair — I keep wishing they would just take a seat.) Joel Hodgson and Frank Conniff are on board, of course, and the addition of Mary Jo Pehl is marvelous, partly because it helps to have the bonus X chromosome in the mix, but mostly because she’s one of the funniest women alive.

Missing this time around, at least thus far, is a context. Whereas MST3K dropped our unfortunate heroes into a satellite prison and forced cinematic limberger into their eyes, there doesn’t seem to be a back story here. Ultimately, that’s okay, because anyone who’s a fan of the original show will tell you, it’s about the movie, stupid, and that’s why Mike Nelson’s RiffTrax works (or for that matter any director commentary in existence.) But when you actually see the characters on screen you find yourself wanting to know more. Where are they? Why are they there? And where did Stephen Hawking come from?

The film itself, The Oozing Skull (not its original title) is a wonder to behold, and if ever a film deserved the Titanic treatment, it’s this one. There’s body switching, a death ray, a hot blonde, a love story with no apparent motivation, a funny dwarf and a complete dearth of integrity. In other words, exactly what my life has been missing for the past several years. Welcome back gang. We’ve missed you.

Order the DVD here.

Incidentally, mine arrived in a thin paper sleeve. That’s not a problem, itself. I don’t need any more plastic around the house, but the disc itself was a bit scuffed as a result. Happily, the damage has turned out to be cosmetic. The disc played fine.

And it looks good on my cat.

That’s a pretty huge claim. So today I thought I’d better back that up. See for yourself. First the original:

Then, the soupy version. Love the triple synth hit right when Jason Dohring’s name pops up:

And before you try to tell me I’ve got too much time on my hands, this took all of four minutes to post.

Okay I’m going back to building my fleet of paper airplanes. I’m gonna invade the neighbors. I might stop in later today to talk about British Sea Power.

When I was a kid I was a fan of Buck Rogers. I’m talking about the TV show in which Gil Gerard jumped around in his white suit and knocked out bad guys. There was some great stuff in that show, especially for a nine-year-old Star Wars fan. Twiki was… alright, he was a little creepy, but he was short and kinda funny, which I could understand. Wilma Deering was an angel. She was probably my first real crush. She didn’t seem to do to much, but who cared? I don’t think there’s ever been a sexier person named Wilma in the history of the universe.

And then there was, of course, the galaxy’s most popular rock band, Andromeda.

Andromeda only appears in one episode. The episode is called “Space Rockers” and guest-starrs Jerry Orbach as the band’s unscrupulous manager. The story is simple. Jerry wans to cause galaxy-wide riots by embedding a freak-out code into the band’s music that causes people to beat each other up and then wander off to find something better to do. It’s up to Buck (with his savvy familiarity with 20th Century indie pop music) to stop him.

Andromeda was one of the coolest bands I’d ever heard. They had a nifty proto-trance groove that was hard for a kid to ignore. And since I’ve got a keen musical memory, I never forgot the tune that opened the episode. And thanks to the miracle of YouTube, I can show it to you:

I love the outfits, I love the crazy “futuristic” instruments, I love the calisthenics. So cool. As far as I know, they never released an album and are, as yet, without a label. I’m guessing they’re retired. I’d love to get my hands on a bootleg. If anyone has any connections, let me know.

By the way, I watched that episode at hulu.com. It’s that new service offered by NBC and News Corp that plans to stream and share full-length television episodes. This is new media. There were advertiesments. There’s going to be money. That’s why there’s a strike.

I’ll bet anything this was written for Summer’s benefit between takes.

I’m not a member of Whedonesque, the Joss Whedon website (can’t cram any more folks into the stateroom) but I kinda want to address a few of the questions raised on the comments to the post about the River Tam notebook.

First off, I’ve been corrected a number of times about Joss’s being on television before. He made an appearance in an episode of Angel (heavily made up, I assume) of which I wasn’t aware. I was only going by what Joss apparently said on the set. Perhaps he meant it was the first time he acted in front of the camera without makeup. I dunno.

batmarlowe sez: There wasn’t any reason during the shoot for him to write down specific observations about River.

I totally agree. But my friend says he watched him write as he acted. Twice. So there were two takes (this prompts me to check the rest of the notebook for another set of notes. See below for what I found.) I guess that’s just something JW wanted to do.

vera (form NZ!) sez: I think the handwriting is very messy, but dont know if that would mean it is made up.

True. I don’t have any handwriting for comparison’s sake, but I suspect if he’s trying to focus on acting the scene, he’s not gonna be too worried about penmanship.

CHRi5 sez: If he was handed it so long ago – Why is the blood still wet?

Well, amystar answers that one later: As for the “wet blood” thing, it all depends on what kind of fake stuff they were using. Some stuff never really dries.

Yes, indeed. It’s not exactly wet. It’s just sticky. I have to keep it in a plastic bag to keep my waffle iron from getting bloody (I’ve got it stashed in a kitchen cabinet. Why? Hell if I know.)

embers sez: I was surprised they called us intense, 14 (so far) posts to a thread isn’t very intense…

I guess I wasn’t referring to the number of posts. Fourteen posts isn’t exactly a feeding frenzy. But the subject of handwriting analysis came up by the third comment. That’s intense. But member serge is right when he says, it’s one obsessive fans who tries to, at least in part, copy Joss’ handwriting.

I’m a fan. No doubt. But please. Aside from posts like this one, and this one, I’ve got too many other things to do…

Now I’m no viral marketing plant (a quick look around the bulk of this blog should help quell some of the skepticism) but these next photos aren’t going to persude the cynics. When my friend tells me that Joss did the shoot twice, I realize that I hadn’t flipped through any other pages of the notebook (they’re stuck together) So I carefully pry them up to take a look at the first page.

Whaddya know?

Click on the pic above for a hi-res version (for those who want to seriously scrutinize the work.)

Here are some more pics:

Anyway, there you go. I’m curious to hear what people make of the scribbles. I don’t think they’re as funny as the one I posted about this morning (no mention of “udderific”??) But still interesting.

And there are other props, I’m told. My friend is in San Antonio now. He says he has a copy of the script (which is also marked up) that he’s going to try and photograph for me. And there are stills, but, we’ve decided to keep them to ourselves (not to tease, but we just don’t want to hurt any business relationships that might suffer as a result.)

How did we get this stuff? This is Hollywood for Chrissakes. This sort of thing happens here. We used to chat with Camden Toy all the time. Sarah Thompson was a regular at the store where I used to work. So were Nick Brendan and Kelly Donovan. That’s the way it is.

And hey, Serenity comes out in a couple weeks.

Numfar! Do the dance of Joy!

UPDATE: Fer the love of–! I found yet another page.

So do you know who River Tam is? She’s the enigmatic stowaway on the Firefly class starship Serenity, and as trailers seem to promise, she blossoms into full kick-ass mode in the upcoming film of the same name. She’s got a past, as so many enigmatic kick-ass characters do, and that past involves long-term imprisonment in a government gulag. There, she apparently suffered through batteries of invasive and brutal tests, endless evaluations and many sub-par meals.

Firefly geeks know what I’m talking about. Firefly is, of course, the cool, short-lived show by Buffy mastermind Joss Whedon. Recently Mr. Whedon shot a series of very short pieces with Summer Glau, the elfin actress who plays River Tam that provide a glimpse into a particular encounter between Summer’s character and one of the doctors during her imprisonment. Joss himself plays the doctor (the first time he’s ever acted in front of the camera.) He asks questions. He takes notes. He provokes his subject into a violent rage and then he dies messily at her hands.

A close friend recently hands me a piece of memorablia from the shoot. he was present for the taping of the sessions and managed to get his hands on this (he gave it to me a couple months ago, but I’m only getting around to posting it now):

It’s the memo pad Dr. Joss uses during the interrogaton. It’s still sticky with blood. Note the suggested treatment: 5mg of “Pax” Is this a reference to “Paxil” or perhaps it’s just a clever way of saying maybe River Tam just needs a little Peace? she could probably benefit from a little of both.

And what the heck does “udderific” mean? Is this a sexist doctor? And what kind of doctor diagnoses an “underdeveloped Yin?” Most amusing:

UPDATE: Jeremy over at fireflymovie.com says that the videos are part of a viral marketing campaign for the movie. Check ‘em out here: session416.com

SECOND UPDATE: There’s been a ton of amusing speculation over at whedonesque as to whether this is an authentic prop or not. Man, you guys are intense. The prop is from a few months ago. If I had any idea it would cause so much furor I wouldn’t have waited so long to post it. My buddy picked up the prop (as well as the script for the session, which I don’t have in hand) and then proceeded to agonize for some time about whether we should blog about it. After we gave it some time, he finally said fuck it. Post it and see what happens. It’s not really that big a deal. Keep it up, guys.

THIRD UPDATE: Not so much an update as a redirect. If you’ve come here directly, I’ve responded (out of both a sense of fun and duty) to some of the message board comments in a new post. And I also discovered some more pages in the mysterious notepad…